When you suspect someone’s child has autism, it’s a very rough place to be. I’m still a little pissed at my family, I have 4 sisters and apparently they all seriously suspected LONG before they told me. I think the bounced it around and the A word trickled out in a phone call or 2 (they all live in New England and I’m in California) and I was totally defensive, but they didn’t just sit me down and say…look, here is the deal.
Would I have said, “Oh thank you very much. I had no idea.” No, I already kind of knew, but didn’t WANT it to be true. I’m sure it would have been more like a seen from the Exorcist with my head spinning around and grew goo flying about. BUT, my sisters would have been there to hold my hair out of the green goo and I would’ve gotten Jake into services almost a year earlier than I did. I see the kids of parents that got in there right when they thought something was up, and a lot of these kids show no sign of delay now.
Timing is critical. You don’t have to say the A word. If someone you love has a child showing the signs…say “speech delay” and “developmental delay”. Contact your loved one’s home school and have all information ready on how to get the free speech assessment. Once someone from the school district meets with the child and suspects autism, they will recommend and call for further assessments. So really, you can just drop a small bomb.
But don’t delay. You may be the bad guy at first. But you will eventually be an angel. It sucks, yes. It’s not going to be pretty….but you owe it to you friend, your sister, your neighbor. It’s hard to see it and accept it from the inside, but denial doesn’t do ANYONE any good.
At some point I’m going to work on an intervention plan (I meet with people ALL THE TIME who want to know how they should tell someone) and will post it on the site. Until then, please feel free to ask me any questions.
:)